Sometimes I don't know why...I need to go out, to walk. By night and by my own.

I need to walk down desert streets, bridges and gardens, to sit down abandoned stairs and hear the silence's shouts.

And then I feel great. Into my inside world everything's peaceful I just can't believe it. At last, I breathe. I smile.

*I'm fucking fine.*

But still, I'm scared. Am I crazy? I wonder. According to them, it 's dangerous walking alone by night in London. And even more when I am a girl. Because of some guys scaring people and stealing bikes.

I just don't care.

I'm not afraid.They're from the outside world, so they don't matter.That's my strenght. Cause when you are not afraid, you just feel you are a kind of king of the world. At least, for one night. That night.

I love nightlife. It merely belongs to *me*.

The day before I came to London, I wanted to see her. I knew I'd miss her.

She invited me in her flat/room, and that was really nice. I had been waiting for that opportunity for a while. I just wanted to be with her, I just wanted us to talk about whatever we wanted to, I just wanted to be intimidated, I just wanted to Kiss her, too.

She was just like so beautiful, to me. She was there and I nearly coulnd't breath anymore. I wanted her. Dot.

Then I put on her top hat, (I love top hats ^^) I was feeling great, but very shy, I was looking at her like if I was a 5 years old child discovering the world. I told her I was afraid to leave, to go to London. I didn't want to lose her.

She told me I was sooo beautiful 'tonight', all London girls would have a crush on me.

But why the HELL didn't SHE had a crush on me, then ??? For the world I don't want a london girl, I want her!

I don't know, I just want to write today...Really don't know why, and I guess nobody's reading me but I don't care. What could I say? Well, let talk about my fucking life.

First of all, I'm a girl, but you can imagine, I guess!

Then, I'm lost. *By the way, I could have named my blog 'Diary Of a Lost Girl' * Why am I lost? Okay, but that's gonna be long ^^ ! No....well, actually I just don't know who I am, I don't even know if I prefer girls or boys, don't know what I wannabe "later" , I'm studying in a business school but sometimes business really bore me. I'd like to travel, to see loads of different things, I'd like to produce my own music, I'd have loved to help others but i'm just a fucking business girl !

I hate myself....No, I hate not to know who I am and what to do. Yes! At least I know I'm complicated!

Actually I'm a new London Girl....I'm there for 4 months, something like that, and I'd like to know what I HAVE to do.... First on my list : Camden Town, of course....

I love London 'cause it is the craddle of the New Wave movement, you know, that great music of the 80ies, with synthes etc.... I really feel good when I listen to that music, so I'd like to know if there is some clubs or pubs where I can go...

Well, first entry then. I guess the 'blog attitude' 's gone, now. But I'm supposed to be 'alternative', aren't I ? So, here am I, just as I am, just to write when I want to, just to laugh at me, at you, at the world, at everything. 'Cause I like to. Just to complain, too.

Just a little bit more about myself : I'm not that kind of person who has an 'attitude', you know. As the 'Gothics' do, and the 'Punks' aswell. I admire them, their 'difference'. But thanx, it's not for me. I don't know, I'm just a fucking strange & curious girl, who loves discovering different points of views and state-of-minds. That's why I can go to a gothic party aswell as a old-fashioned one!

And by the way, I love Exotic Juice. Do you? (who cares !)

See you Folks !